I struggled with this blog post a lot in my head, it's a dark topic. It's uncomfortable, and even I am not 100% comfortable writing about it. But it needs to be said, and heard if change is going to happen. As much as I didn't want my first blog post to be something like this... I had a few reasons that prompted me over the last couple days.
-I've really been in to Brene Brown lately and her wisdom on shame, vulnerability and living wholeheartedly. She is an amazing woman with so much insight, I hang on to her every word. I would really like to read a copy of Daring Greatly. "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change." is just one of the many amazing quotes by her. And there is something in our society that I passionately feel needs to change.
-I follow a blog with very strong opinions on very controversial subjects. She is blunt and tells it like it is, although I enjoy reading her blog posts I know not everyone is receptive to that tone. I'm hoping to word this post in a manner that is respectful but provokes the thought processes that are needed for us as a whole to move forward.
http://guggiedaly.blogspot.ca/2012/11/protect-your-childs-no.html
-A local woman has gone missing after leaving her home for a walk. I hope that she is found safe, but someone's comment made me sick. "Why the hell would anyone go walking at 10:00" I am very against victim blaming. Why is the focus on this woman? Why can't a person (male or female) go for a walk whenever they please?
It's time to talk about our rights to our bodies, and that begins with our children. I regret the times I passed my infant son to eagerly awaiting arms as he cried. He was communicating "No" and I did not hear or respect that. What message was I sending him? Today I am going to begin a conscious effort to listen to my son when he says no, especially regarding his body. I want him to know that he does not have to do anything that makes him uncomfortable, regardless of whether that person is "trusted" or not. It's estimated that between 60-90% of abusers are known to the child, although the statistics can never be accurate as many cases go unreported.
Another thing, and I am so guilty of this in the past. Why are we so quick to judge mothers and the choices they make with their bodies? While writing this a pregnant friend posts her wishes to have an epidural and then a quick follow up to justify/defend herself. I have heard countless judgements against women and childbirth, ranging from pro natural home births to elective cesarean sections. At the end of the day, we need healthy moms and babies no matter how the babies enter the world. A woman has a successful HBAC? Good for her. A woman schedules her elective section? Good for her. Can we all take a step back for a second and respect women for the hard work that is pregnancy and childbirth? We all have our challenges and I like to believe that woman make choices best for themselves and their families.
Another thing, I like to call myself a feminist lactivist. For probably the first year of my son's life I was extremely lactivist. I believed formula companies were evil, all women should breastfeed and that is how it is. Then I realized, I myself was pushing my ideas on to other women on what they should be doing with their chest which is not something I want to do at all. It went against my core values. While I do still support women breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public, I am less quick to cast judgements on bottles. I feel like milk banks are not popular enough and wanted to donate to one myself but when they opened one locally my son was too close to one year old. But now I realize that a mom formula feeding from a bottle and a mom breastfeeding her preschooler in public can both be good moms and are both deserving of respect. Can I take a minute to bow down to the moms that exclusively pump though? Kudos to you, I exclusively pumped for a week and it was a LOT of work.
Anyway, my goal in writing this post was to raise awareness on children's rights, and the culture we live in especially regarding our collective views towards women. Well this post was meant to be focused on children as they don't always have a voice of their own, but digressed to women/mothers. Such is the result of late night thoughts dancing around my head. I hope that maybe this post will initiate change, even if it affects one person that is still one step closer.
No comments:
Post a Comment